The $12 misunderstanding
Gary was assigned to the ticket window for a free show and began practicing charging $12. We are working through the training materials.
Robinson Family Light Show · Department of Unrequested Oversight
GARY.The moose. The myth.
The middle manager.
Former water-sprayer. Current Senior Supervisor.
Absolutely nobody checked his references.
Actual Rexburg Rapids show photo · Gary character composite
“I have been standing here longer than you have been qualified.”
100%Confidence
0References checked
$0Actual show admission
You searched. He assumed you were recruiting.
What is the Rexburg Rapids moose’s name?
We call him Gary. At the Robinson Family Light Show, Gary the Moose is our fictional, self-appointed Senior Supervisor, inspired by the water-spraying moose statue in the Rexburg Rapids lazy river. He started showing up in our Facebook posts. Then he started acting like he owned the place.
The name is ours. The confidence is entirely his.
The Gary / Marty question, explained ↓
A career built on standing still
He saw a leadership vacuum.
It was just an empty chair.
For years, the moose at Rexburg Rapids stood beside the lazy river spraying water at passing families. Other people called this a water feature. In our version of events, Gary called it public service.
Then the Robinson family brought a Christmas light show to the Rapids. Lights. Music. Ladders. People saying “just one more thing” while carrying six more things.
Gary recognized an outdoor operation without a moose in senior management.
He hired himself immediately.
Read the unauthorized biographyHuman Resources has some concerns
The permanent record.
He asked us to describe him as “essential personnel.” We have described the personnel.
- Position
- Senior Supervisor, Self-Appointed
- Previous experience
- Extended standing. Surprise hydration. Eye contact.
- Direct reports
- One traffic cone. Several reluctant extension cords.
- Leadership philosophy
- “If progress slows, look harder.”
- Out-of-office reply
- “I am also here.”
- Performance rating
- Exceeds available authority.
“I requested a corner office.Gary · Senior Supervisor · Still escalating this
They gave me a corner of outside.”
A complimentary public disservice
Request a completely
unnecessary inspection.
Choose a department. Receive an opinion with no practical application whatsoever.
Inspection pending
Gary has been notified that someone needs him. He is taking a moment to enjoy that.
He was like this before the website
Already in the incident log.
Inspired by Gary’s actual appearances on our Facebook page. The behavior is fictional. The posts are real.
Follow the case on Facebook ↗
The seat he did not pay for
Gary took up a seat at a comedy show without paying for it. He appears to consider “Senior Supervisor” a universal admission credential.
The classified moose
Gary figured out a secret, was asked not to say anything, and took the assignment extremely seriously. Finally, a task aligned with his core competency: contributing no information.
Frequently inspected questions
Gary would like to clarify.
Is the Rexburg Rapids moose Gary or Marty?
Gary is the name our family uses for the moose character in Robinson Family Light Show stories. Water Design’s project page describes a “Marty moose” feature. The City’s attractions page simply calls it the moose statue. Our Gary stories are playful family lore, not an official City renaming.
Gary has referred this matter to his Department of Personal Branding. It is also Gary.
Did the Robinson family actually hire a moose?
Gary conducted his own interview. Asked himself where he saw himself in five years. Answered “here.” Strong eye contact. Hired on the spot. The rest of us learned about it when he ordered a nameplate.
Is the light show really free?
Yes. The Robinson Family Light Show is free for every family. Gary’s $12 ticket-window practice is a joke, not a price. Please plan your visit here for real dates, hours and directions.
Are these real baby photographs?
No. These are AI-generated illustrations of an entirely imaginary childhood. We have given a water-park statue a family album. We understand what we have done.
Can I meet Gary?
Follow his adventures here and on our Facebook page. His real-world inspiration is the moose statue at Rexburg Rapids. His supervisory presence is primarily emotional. Please respect the venue’s access rules.
A life of service.
A trail of paperwork.
From first splash to first staff meeting. No references were contacted. ↗
Exhibit B · The family albumBefore he was management,
he was a problem in a basket.
The baby photos Gary requested we remove. Naturally, we made them bigger. ↗